I'm sorry for all the pain.. I have caused you Rylan..
I'm a fucking horrible person..
I think it's the shit that I've taken..
That's most likely what's changed me...
don't ask.. Kay...
I just wanted to say I'm sorry..
I deleted what I said before so I don't really remember..
But I know for Damn sure.. You deserve so much better than me..
I know that..
And I've accepted that..
Find a guy.. or a girl.. That treats you amazingly..
Because you deserve it..
Show them as much affection as you would for anyone..
that you hold dear..
I know that you have changed..
And I know that I have too...
Maybe it's because we think so little of ourselves..
I'm not completely sure..
But I know that you want us to go our seprate ways..
So I thought I'd give you that..
You're everything to me..
And I don't want to give that up.
I love you..
And I don't say that to anyonee..
And actually mean it...
I don't blame you for hating me..
Just like you said.. I kinda wish you would to be honest..
So that you won't be hurt when I leave..
Leave everything.. Family, Friends..
And I'm sorry for that too...
Personally I think the shit that I took..
Is what's making me this way..
Overdramatic..
OverProtective.
Overstimulated.
In other words.. I'm a crazy mother fuckerr..
And I don't deserve someone like you..
I'm so moody.. I don't know what I'm doing anymore..
I don't even understand why I'm still here..
I think I stayed mostly because
You...
You were always there for me..
No matter what the situation.
No matter what the standards.
Ash...
She's just adorable..
And somehow.. always know's what to say..
To make me feel better..
Mitchell...
He's my gay best friend..
And He's just there..
when no one else is..
I think you're the main part of it though.. personally.
I think you're the main reason for everything
Good
that has happened in my life..
And I'm being completely honest
When I met you..
Well.. no let me re-phrase that..
when we started dating..
And alot was going on in my life..
I tried to keep out of trouble the best I could..
It just has it's ways of finding me..
I don't know why.. It's how It's always been :[
I've relized something..
When I was writing the letter's of regret.
I was focusing on the negative..
Not the things.. that I love about you..
And have loved about you..
I think that's the thing I was missing the most..
I'm sorry for comparing you to Mikey..
I seem to be doing that alot..
And I'll stop.
I just wanted to apologize for my insenstive..
Stupid behavior..
<33333
I love you more than anythingg..
--Caitlinn
I'm a fucking horrible person..
I think it's the shit that I've taken..
That's most likely what's changed me...
don't ask.. Kay...
I just wanted to say I'm sorry..
I deleted what I said before so I don't really remember..
But I know for Damn sure.. You deserve so much better than me..
I know that..
And I've accepted that..
Find a guy.. or a girl.. That treats you amazingly..
Because you deserve it..
Show them as much affection as you would for anyone..
that you hold dear..
I know that you have changed..
And I know that I have too...
Maybe it's because we think so little of ourselves..
I'm not completely sure..
But I know that you want us to go our seprate ways..
So I thought I'd give you that..
You're everything to me..
And I don't want to give that up.
I love you..
And I don't say that to anyonee..
And actually mean it...
I don't blame you for hating me..
Just like you said.. I kinda wish you would to be honest..
So that you won't be hurt when I leave..
Leave everything.. Family, Friends..
And I'm sorry for that too...
Personally I think the shit that I took..
Is what's making me this way..
Overdramatic..
OverProtective.
Overstimulated.
In other words.. I'm a crazy mother fuckerr..
And I don't deserve someone like you..
I'm so moody.. I don't know what I'm doing anymore..
I don't even understand why I'm still here..
I think I stayed mostly because
You...
You were always there for me..
No matter what the situation.
No matter what the standards.
Ash...
She's just adorable..
And somehow.. always know's what to say..
To make me feel better..
Mitchell...
He's my gay best friend..
And He's just there..
when no one else is..
I think you're the main part of it though.. personally.
I think you're the main reason for everything
Good
that has happened in my life..
And I'm being completely honest
When I met you..
Well.. no let me re-phrase that..
when we started dating..
And alot was going on in my life..
I tried to keep out of trouble the best I could..
It just has it's ways of finding me..
I don't know why.. It's how It's always been :[
I've relized something..
When I was writing the letter's of regret.
I was focusing on the negative..
Not the things.. that I love about you..
And have loved about you..
I think that's the thing I was missing the most..
I'm sorry for comparing you to Mikey..
I seem to be doing that alot..
And I'll stop.
I just wanted to apologize for my insenstive..
Stupid behavior..
<33333
I love you more than anythingg..
--Caitlinn
- Location:Computer.
- Mood:
ehh - Music:Lost in you - Olivia Broadfield...
Over the past couple of weeks I have learned that I'm moving back in with my crazy,hairbrain mother. That I love dearly.. She just has a way with people, as in getting them to do what she wants. When I lived with her before. It wasn't good by any means.
I missed Thirty seven day's of school and almost flunked a grade. because I turned into the mother of my siblings.
Fuck they still call me mom by mistake every now and again... And I'm sick of it.
Yeahh.. The neighborhood that I'm moving into.. It's not the best by any means. It's pretty much a hood neighborhood. there are only about..
Hmm.. let me thing maybe about four white teenagers in that neighborhood.
And To top it off.. most of the black people in that neighborhood want to fucking kick my ass...
Because I'm a Rainbow person..
I'm pretty much a Gay.. when a guy gets to my heart now a day's it's very Rare.
And because the stupid Police.
Fuckers Vandalize my houseor Nikii's.
There is going to be police called.
fucking Kick our doors throw mud at it.. Fucking break in..
that's Bullshit. I Ain't dealing wtih that shit.
Well this girl's sister Asia was involved.
She was the one kicking the dorors, and Fucking throwing the mud.
Of corse me and Nikii are Pissed.
because her parents come home. we get blamed for it.. No doubt.
and it's fucking stupid. We called her mother.. and delt with it.. maturely.. like any decent person would.
but nooo..
Asia's fucking sister comes along with bher big ass boobs bouncing around like
Ba-BAAM!
It's just like shit woman.. Hide those fuckerrss.
Anyways I'm getting off track.
She comes over.. and takes her sister.. and the other kids and runn..
The police finally got there.. and that's when they booked it. :]
and Asia's brother Robbed the Spa up the street.
Their mother is with him. helping him so he won't get caught he's down in the cityy.
Well anywayss.. Asia..
little fucking bitch.
Decided to tell her older sister. that me Nikii and shay were cussing them out.
when really we were telling them to clean the fucking mess they made.
We were actualy being very polite
for how pissed we were.. Fuck my mother would have been proud.
I was texting Ashlee. my friend on The older sisters phone.
so she fucking decides it would be a Great Idea to text her.
And tell her something along these lines.
"You don't fuckin text me again you homosexual. I swear I'm close to fucking beating you're friend
You have noo Idea how Pissed I was when I herd that This girl had tried to get one of my bes friends involved in our problem.
And this girl.. was trying to blame us for going to a fifth grade level. Whe she herd it she was just as pissed as I wass.
she needs to mind her own fucking buisness. If she's a homophobe.
that's her problem and she can take it up with me.
she does not need to get my friends involved. or even worried.
And to top the whole fucking thing off. I got beat up the day before. In that neighborhood.
For liking girls. It's fucking stupid. but whatever.
they want to Make me say I'm not. and deny it.
i'm not going to.. because it's the fucking truth. I'm not going to lie about what I like.
I LIKE GIRLS !
I missed Thirty seven day's of school and almost flunked a grade. because I turned into the mother of my siblings.
Fuck they still call me mom by mistake every now and again... And I'm sick of it.
Yeahh.. The neighborhood that I'm moving into.. It's not the best by any means. It's pretty much a hood neighborhood. there are only about..
Hmm.. let me thing maybe about four white teenagers in that neighborhood.
And To top it off.. most of the black people in that neighborhood want to fucking kick my ass...
Because I'm a Rainbow person..
I'm pretty much a Gay.. when a guy gets to my heart now a day's it's very Rare.
And because the stupid Police.
Fuckers Vandalize my houseor Nikii's.
There is going to be police called.
fucking Kick our doors throw mud at it.. Fucking break in..
that's Bullshit. I Ain't dealing wtih that shit.
Well this girl's sister Asia was involved.
She was the one kicking the dorors, and Fucking throwing the mud.
Of corse me and Nikii are Pissed.
because her parents come home. we get blamed for it.. No doubt.
and it's fucking stupid. We called her mother.. and delt with it.. maturely.. like any decent person would.
but nooo..
Asia's fucking sister comes along with bher big ass boobs bouncing around like
Ba-BAAM!
It's just like shit woman.. Hide those fuckerrss.
Anyways I'm getting off track.
She comes over.. and takes her sister.. and the other kids and runn..
The police finally got there.. and that's when they booked it. :]
and Asia's brother Robbed the Spa up the street.
Their mother is with him. helping him so he won't get caught he's down in the cityy.
Well anywayss.. Asia..
little fucking bitch.
Decided to tell her older sister. that me Nikii and shay were cussing them out.
when really we were telling them to clean the fucking mess they made.
We were actualy being very polite
for how pissed we were.. Fuck my mother would have been proud.
I was texting Ashlee. my friend on The older sisters phone.
so she fucking decides it would be a Great Idea to text her.
And tell her something along these lines.
"You don't fuckin text me again you homosexual. I swear I'm close to fucking beating you're friend
You have noo Idea how Pissed I was when I herd that This girl had tried to get one of my bes friends involved in our problem.
And this girl.. was trying to blame us for going to a fifth grade level. Whe she herd it she was just as pissed as I wass.
she needs to mind her own fucking buisness. If she's a homophobe.
that's her problem and she can take it up with me.
she does not need to get my friends involved. or even worried.
And to top the whole fucking thing off. I got beat up the day before. In that neighborhood.
For liking girls. It's fucking stupid. but whatever.
they want to Make me say I'm not. and deny it.
i'm not going to.. because it's the fucking truth. I'm not going to lie about what I like.
I LIKE GIRLS !
I LIKE VAGINAS & PENISES!
I LIKE GIRLS AND GUYS
Get the Fuck over it. Jesus.
I have a place eye. my Vagina hurts like hell because they continued to fucking
Kick me there and my ass.. which hurt like hell.
And yes I cried. who wouldn't cry when you are ganged up by about seven people.
And getting beat up because you like a certian Gender. Fuck that!
It's wrong!!
Ohh this is just a highlight.. I'm moving in there in about a week or two.. And to my not suprise.
this bitch Asia and her sister... Are fucking going to live rightt next door to me.. Which i don't like the odds of that.. not at all.
My mother say's that if her Brand new car get's trashed she's kicking my ass.. not that I don't get that enough.
FUCKK! FUCKK FUCKK FUCKK FUCKKKK!!!!!!
I'm sick of this.. My mother cares about her care before her own daughter.
And that Drives me fucking insane.She daughter is out there. getting her ass beat everyday.
Some day;'s if they're in a bad mood.. It's my fault.
And I get blamed. And I am their punching bagss.
I started cutting again. now they're beating me up for that as well.. You know what fuck that!
I cut because it's really the only thing I can fucking control in the Hell Hole!
I have control for once.and ilove the impowering feeling.
I like the rush I get when I see the blood comming out of my arm.. Personally I really just wish.
I had the fucking guts to kill myself. save myself the pain and regret.
ylan dumped me for reasons that are completely unknown
. And personally with al the shit going on.
I truely don't want to..
If what I'm going through now isn't enough..
to top the fucking day off I get online and there is a message
"I think we should break up"
I saw it comming. because I noticed the change in behavior. and I didn't wnat to hear it..
because I didn't want another thing about me that I was suppossed to fix..
To make myself better for everyone around me.
Because I'm never good enough..
Not gor anyone. I never have been.
I'm a complete Failur to my family.
My friends don;t have a fucking clue what's going on.
Other than the cuts, bruses, compleining about pain. That's about all.
so I wrote this..
For those who wanted to understand.
So whatever.. comment if you have anything to say..
If you say I'm overdramatic.. I am..
and I'm sorry I'll try to fix it to your satisfaction..
I LIKE GIRLS AND GUYS
Get the Fuck over it. Jesus.
I have a place eye. my Vagina hurts like hell because they continued to fucking
Kick me there and my ass.. which hurt like hell.
And yes I cried. who wouldn't cry when you are ganged up by about seven people.
And getting beat up because you like a certian Gender. Fuck that!
It's wrong!!
Ohh this is just a highlight.. I'm moving in there in about a week or two.. And to my not suprise.
this bitch Asia and her sister... Are fucking going to live rightt next door to me.. Which i don't like the odds of that.. not at all.
My mother say's that if her Brand new car get's trashed she's kicking my ass.. not that I don't get that enough.
FUCKK! FUCKK FUCKK FUCKK FUCKKKK!!!!!!
I'm sick of this.. My mother cares about her care before her own daughter.
And that Drives me fucking insane.She daughter is out there. getting her ass beat everyday.
Some day;'s if they're in a bad mood.. It's my fault.
And I get blamed. And I am their punching bagss.
I started cutting again. now they're beating me up for that as well.. You know what fuck that!
I cut because it's really the only thing I can fucking control in the Hell Hole!
I have control for once.and ilove the impowering feeling.
I like the rush I get when I see the blood comming out of my arm.. Personally I really just wish.
I had the fucking guts to kill myself. save myself the pain and regret.
ylan dumped me for reasons that are completely unknown
. And personally with al the shit going on.
I truely don't want to..
If what I'm going through now isn't enough..
to top the fucking day off I get online and there is a message
"I think we should break up"
I saw it comming. because I noticed the change in behavior. and I didn't wnat to hear it..
because I didn't want another thing about me that I was suppossed to fix..
To make myself better for everyone around me.
Because I'm never good enough..
Not gor anyone. I never have been.
I'm a complete Failur to my family.
My friends don;t have a fucking clue what's going on.
Other than the cuts, bruses, compleining about pain. That's about all.
so I wrote this..
For those who wanted to understand.
So whatever.. comment if you have anything to say..
If you say I'm overdramatic.. I am..
and I'm sorry I'll try to fix it to your satisfaction..
fuckk.. I utterly hate my grandma at the time. she decided to just walk in my room. and say "I'll be happy when you leave.. because of this your your messy" I was to the point of crying. jsut because my Grandma dosn't want me.. and as long as I'm staying with my mother. I'll get beat up in that fucking neighbor hood.Because My grandma dosn't fucking want me.. Who in my family wants me.. My mom.. Because she can use me as her fucking Servant again .
watching the kids while she goes out and drinks all night. Or she's out with friends. I will turn into the fucking mother once again. I'm soo sick of this. I get treated like I'm nothing there is always something wrong wiht me that I have to fix to be accepted by my Grandmother. There is always a step ferther that she has to take for me to reach her standards. she keeps moving farther back picking out each one of my Flaws. I'll never be fucking god enough for anyone.. That's what I'm getting from my family. "you'llnever get married' " I'll never have Grandchildren" what the fuckk.. I'm soo sick of this.. I'm seriously considering just leaving home and running away at this point. I don't want to be here. I don't really want to be anywhere.
<-- going back into her emo state of mind
Seriously what the fuck is wrong wiht me.. why can't I be up to her standards.. why can't I be the wonderful Grandaughter i was when I was young and couldn't talk.. Unable to make mistakes.. or to know what you were saying.. Why does it matter now.. Was I really nothing to you before Susan? Am i really that unimportant to you. ?
I had to get it out. because I'm seriously sitting here in tears. because my stupid mother fucking Grandmother. since when do Grandmothers treat their Grandaughters like shit anyways.. My mom is an alcholic and I'm going to livewith her. because Now. I have no choice.
Oh.. I remember that one time. Ohh it was so funny.. remember you laughed your ass off.. laughing at me. because I looked like a "muffin Top" which is how you put it in your words. that was great right.. ohh remember I spent the whole day in my room crying. yes. some grandmother you are.
thanks alot "My dear loving Grandmother" are you fucking happy now??
My life is apparently some huge fuck up.. I remember when I was young and you didn't care how bit I was or what I looked like.. why does it matter now. I get teased enough for it. Why do you have to add on to it. you're my grandmother you should be helping me.. not making me feel horrible about myself. and everything else you've done.. butno you chose to make my life hell.
i love you.
but you're family i really have no choice. It's not fair the way you treat me.. Gaven and Briana.. remember my brother and sister.. theyare fucking angels to her god's blessing.
I sed to be that only one. but when they came along. I'm the oldest. so apparently I get the most Hurt out of the family too. I get called fat every day. teased and beat up because I like girls. fuck not too long ago I got thrown in a trash can because I like girls.
susan ~my grandmother~ She dosn't know about my sexuallity because if she did she would kick me out and disown me.. along wiht the rest of my Christian family.
I'm pretty much a lesbian. I like girls much more than I like guys now.
It's obvious. at least it should be.If It's not I'm sorry for making it so hard on her.
I've been crying for about an hourr..
watching the kids while she goes out and drinks all night. Or she's out with friends. I will turn into the fucking mother once again. I'm soo sick of this. I get treated like I'm nothing there is always something wrong wiht me that I have to fix to be accepted by my Grandmother. There is always a step ferther that she has to take for me to reach her standards. she keeps moving farther back picking out each one of my Flaws. I'll never be fucking god enough for anyone.. That's what I'm getting from my family. "you'llnever get married' " I'll never have Grandchildren" what the fuckk.. I'm soo sick of this.. I'm seriously considering just leaving home and running away at this point. I don't want to be here. I don't really want to be anywhere.
<-- going back into her emo state of mind
Seriously what the fuck is wrong wiht me.. why can't I be up to her standards.. why can't I be the wonderful Grandaughter i was when I was young and couldn't talk.. Unable to make mistakes.. or to know what you were saying.. Why does it matter now.. Was I really nothing to you before Susan? Am i really that unimportant to you. ?
I had to get it out. because I'm seriously sitting here in tears. because my stupid mother fucking Grandmother. since when do Grandmothers treat their Grandaughters like shit anyways.. My mom is an alcholic and I'm going to livewith her. because Now. I have no choice.
Oh.. I remember that one time. Ohh it was so funny.. remember you laughed your ass off.. laughing at me. because I looked like a "muffin Top" which is how you put it in your words. that was great right.. ohh remember I spent the whole day in my room crying. yes. some grandmother you are.
thanks alot "My dear loving Grandmother" are you fucking happy now??
My life is apparently some huge fuck up.. I remember when I was young and you didn't care how bit I was or what I looked like.. why does it matter now. I get teased enough for it. Why do you have to add on to it. you're my grandmother you should be helping me.. not making me feel horrible about myself. and everything else you've done.. butno you chose to make my life hell.
i love you.
but you're family i really have no choice. It's not fair the way you treat me.. Gaven and Briana.. remember my brother and sister.. theyare fucking angels to her god's blessing.
I sed to be that only one. but when they came along. I'm the oldest. so apparently I get the most Hurt out of the family too. I get called fat every day. teased and beat up because I like girls. fuck not too long ago I got thrown in a trash can because I like girls.
susan ~my grandmother~ She dosn't know about my sexuallity because if she did she would kick me out and disown me.. along wiht the rest of my Christian family.
I'm pretty much a lesbian. I like girls much more than I like guys now.
It's obvious. at least it should be.If It's not I'm sorry for making it so hard on her.
I've been crying for about an hourr..
What the fuck is wrong with people these days.
BOYS and GIRLS are supposed to have equal status in the community...
SO WHY THE HELL ARE GIRLS ALWAYS WHORES AND THE ONES YOU HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT!? SOMEONE EXPLAIN THAT PLEASE!
~The number of teenage pregnancies has increased over the last few years.
~Should you really let your 13 year old girl date?
~Girls these days are having sexual relations with over 50 partners a month.
Those are just a few quotes I read this week..
You know you are fucking SEXIST, all of those analysts and therapists...
Why are guys never mentioned??
Is it okay for a 13 year old boy to fuck every thing that walks on two legs and has a pair of breasts????
HELL NO!!
A guy fucks a million girls in one week and he's cool, he's awesome..
The girl does the same and she is a slut?
Oh, right. We are in a liberal world, where men and women are equal...
Ha! Right. Those are just stories that moms tell their baby girls to sleep at night.
Damn you idiots. Guys have it so easy. They can have sex all they want and nothing happens to them..
Most of the sexual diseases are only carried by men but they affect women.
Women get stuck with carriying a fucking baby in their stomaches for 9 months and not guys.
Women bleed every month for a week, not men.
Women take care of their children and households.
Women give men advice.
Women do everything
What do men do?
They eat, sleep, fuck and complain.
They say they have it so bad, but in reality their life is just fucking perfect.
I am in such a bad mood now, I could kill someone, I really am.
So don't provoke me..
If I hear another guy complain I'm going to rip his vocal cords out so he can't speak anymore.
Oh and I do hope your cock brakes in half next time you have sex...
BOYS and GIRLS are supposed to have equal status in the community...
SO WHY THE HELL ARE GIRLS ALWAYS WHORES AND THE ONES YOU HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT!? SOMEONE EXPLAIN THAT PLEASE!
~The number of teenage pregnancies has increased over the last few years.
~Should you really let your 13 year old girl date?
~Girls these days are having sexual relations with over 50 partners a month.
Those are just a few quotes I read this week..
You know you are fucking SEXIST, all of those analysts and therapists...
Why are guys never mentioned??
Is it okay for a 13 year old boy to fuck every thing that walks on two legs and has a pair of breasts????
HELL NO!!
A guy fucks a million girls in one week and he's cool, he's awesome..
The girl does the same and she is a slut?
Oh, right. We are in a liberal world, where men and women are equal...
Ha! Right. Those are just stories that moms tell their baby girls to sleep at night.
Damn you idiots. Guys have it so easy. They can have sex all they want and nothing happens to them..
Most of the sexual diseases are only carried by men but they affect women.
Women get stuck with carriying a fucking baby in their stomaches for 9 months and not guys.
Women bleed every month for a week, not men.
Women take care of their children and households.
Women give men advice.
Women do everything
What do men do?
They eat, sleep, fuck and complain.
They say they have it so bad, but in reality their life is just fucking perfect.
I am in such a bad mood now, I could kill someone, I really am.
So don't provoke me..
If I hear another guy complain I'm going to rip his vocal cords out so he can't speak anymore.
Oh and I do hope your cock brakes in half next time you have sex...
Dear Friends.... xD
First... <3
Malice Romance here.. ok. so this isn't exactly a "rant" but I havn't posted anything in a while.. And I've had a lot go on since the last time I've updated.
First off.. The school year is almost over.. Only a week left... thank God.. I was so sick of being confined to a building for a large portion of my day. that's just not what I do.. I can't stay still sitting in a chair for Seven hours.. I can't do that.. I can barly stay on here without getting distracted.. Yes I have a life.. xD I'm very proud of that.. Yes.. I have alot of shit going on.. Like.. I may now be comming back on here next year.. I'm sorry guys.. but I might be moving back in with my Mother.. Which I dont think is a good idea.. What's so ever.. First off.. she would take my computer.. she despises myspace, livejournal, roleplay, anime... All that shit. The things I just happen to love. I will find a way to get on.. I promise.. I just hope it dosn't end up that way.. I lived with my mother I think last year.. and It was not a good situation. My mom would go out most nights.. school nights none the less.. So I was stuck at home.. watching my brother and sister... Andshe was out getting drunk, come home all giggly and shit-faced at Six in the morning.. meaning I didn't go to school that day... because She was too drunk to drive me. So I missed 37.6 days of school, I almost flunked last year. So I came to live with my grandma.. here.. Its been amazing. I have privacy, I have my own computer, and I'm never grounded... At my moms I was grounded 24-7 there was no friends, computer nothing.. for 2 years strait. I was the most socialy deprived child.. I swear.. and now I'm only 14 so It could all change.. When I move back in with her.. You never really know.. that's why I dont want to take that shance. My grandma has been great to me.. Sure we have fights.. We are family.. that shit happens..
Second... <3
I met the Gratest Guy ever <3 His name is Omar.. and I love him to death.. he's fucking amazing.. a really good friend.. He always knows what to say to make me smile, no matter what mood I'm in.. It's fucking amazing.. I dont understand him.. but Ireally want to.. I know some things about him, that I'm not going to share.. just because If they were to happen to me.. And I told someone I wouldn't want to world to know.. And I admire that.. He's alot like me.. He has a great personality.. you just have to figure out how to get him to express it.. I have a Huge crush on this guy <3 but I personally think that he is.. wayy out of my leage.. he deserves someone that makes him happy.. I don't know if I can do that.. So far.. I havn't really found out how to do that for myself.. So how am I going to do that for someone else.. He is the sweetest guy in the World I swear.. He tells me how beautiful I am.. Which is not a thing I hear very often... and hearing it from a guy like him.. just makes it all the better.. I think I would completely die if he read this.. But I'm taking that risk, because I'm taking this to church on Wendsday to show my friend Laura.. xD Anyways.. back to Omar.. He dosn't care that I'm aver weight.. and He dosn't care what others think of me.. he thinks I'm beautiful just the way I am.. and That I should not change that.. You have no idea how happy that makes me feel inside.. there is one problem.. He's kinda sorta.. thre-fouths Gay... Dx *crys* I dont care.. I still luv him... Me and him roleplay.. alot just being stupid.. He broke my Grasses.. Dx It wasn't very nice.. But I stoled his whip.. muhahah!!
Third... <3
First... <3
Malice Romance here.. ok. so this isn't exactly a "rant" but I havn't posted anything in a while.. And I've had a lot go on since the last time I've updated.
First off.. The school year is almost over.. Only a week left... thank God.. I was so sick of being confined to a building for a large portion of my day. that's just not what I do.. I can't stay still sitting in a chair for Seven hours.. I can't do that.. I can barly stay on here without getting distracted.. Yes I have a life.. xD I'm very proud of that.. Yes.. I have alot of shit going on.. Like.. I may now be comming back on here next year.. I'm sorry guys.. but I might be moving back in with my Mother.. Which I dont think is a good idea.. What's so ever.. First off.. she would take my computer.. she despises myspace, livejournal, roleplay, anime... All that shit. The things I just happen to love. I will find a way to get on.. I promise.. I just hope it dosn't end up that way.. I lived with my mother I think last year.. and It was not a good situation. My mom would go out most nights.. school nights none the less.. So I was stuck at home.. watching my brother and sister... Andshe was out getting drunk, come home all giggly and shit-faced at Six in the morning.. meaning I didn't go to school that day... because She was too drunk to drive me. So I missed 37.6 days of school, I almost flunked last year. So I came to live with my grandma.. here.. Its been amazing. I have privacy, I have my own computer, and I'm never grounded... At my moms I was grounded 24-7 there was no friends, computer nothing.. for 2 years strait. I was the most socialy deprived child.. I swear.. and now I'm only 14 so It could all change.. When I move back in with her.. You never really know.. that's why I dont want to take that shance. My grandma has been great to me.. Sure we have fights.. We are family.. that shit happens..
Second... <3
I met the Gratest Guy ever <3 His name is Omar.. and I love him to death.. he's fucking amazing.. a really good friend.. He always knows what to say to make me smile, no matter what mood I'm in.. It's fucking amazing.. I dont understand him.. but Ireally want to.. I know some things about him, that I'm not going to share.. just because If they were to happen to me.. And I told someone I wouldn't want to world to know.. And I admire that.. He's alot like me.. He has a great personality.. you just have to figure out how to get him to express it.. I have a Huge crush on this guy <3 but I personally think that he is.. wayy out of my leage.. he deserves someone that makes him happy.. I don't know if I can do that.. So far.. I havn't really found out how to do that for myself.. So how am I going to do that for someone else.. He is the sweetest guy in the World I swear.. He tells me how beautiful I am.. Which is not a thing I hear very often... and hearing it from a guy like him.. just makes it all the better.. I think I would completely die if he read this.. But I'm taking that risk, because I'm taking this to church on Wendsday to show my friend Laura.. xD Anyways.. back to Omar.. He dosn't care that I'm aver weight.. and He dosn't care what others think of me.. he thinks I'm beautiful just the way I am.. and That I should not change that.. You have no idea how happy that makes me feel inside.. there is one problem.. He's kinda sorta.. thre-fouths Gay... Dx *crys* I dont care.. I still luv him... Me and him roleplay.. alot just being stupid.. He broke my Grasses.. Dx It wasn't very nice.. But I stoled his whip.. muhahah!!
Third... <3
My best Friend Grace.. I dont know how to describe her.. She's freakin' amazing.. There is no way to top her.. She's everything I'm not.. I think that's why we get along so well, We are so muchthe same.. but then again.. we have so much in common. I can tell her anything.. Anything and everything.. though there is alot I dont know abuot her.. and she makes that apparent.. I also Hide alot of things from her... I just try not to make it so obvious. I keep getting side tracked xD Anywaysss.... She is the iceing to my cake no joke.. without her.. I dont know what I'd do..
fouth... <3
I've been writing alot latly, and I will upday as soon as possible. I went to the guidence lady.. I can't spell it.. Oh well.. She is going to be checking this.. so I'mma start updating daily.. if I can.. I hope I can.. I like writing.. OMG Her daughter is awesome. I talked to her on the phoen.. It was sooo cool, I'm going to an Anime convention with her maybe.. xD It sounds like alot of fun.. I can't wait to meet herr.. Thinking of which.. I should probally add her on myspace.. haha.. If any of you want to add me you can here ya'go..
www.myspace.com/xxx_url_goes_here_xxx
I hope I got it right.. If not add me searching Malice Romance.. Gah.. This is really long haha... i dont care.. I'm bored.. I'm supposed to be doing homework.. lol.. My grandma is going to be soooo pissed.. anyone know anything about Hitler.. And the Secret Anex..? i have to write a paper on it.. xD Blah.. and the Abc's of Science.. about what we learned.. but I dont think your intrested in that.. considering you dont know what I've learned about
fouth... <3
I've been writing alot latly, and I will upday as soon as possible. I went to the guidence lady.. I can't spell it.. Oh well.. She is going to be checking this.. so I'mma start updating daily.. if I can.. I hope I can.. I like writing.. OMG Her daughter is awesome. I talked to her on the phoen.. It was sooo cool, I'm going to an Anime convention with her maybe.. xD It sounds like alot of fun.. I can't wait to meet herr.. Thinking of which.. I should probally add her on myspace.. haha.. If any of you want to add me you can here ya'go..
www.myspace.com/xxx_url_goes_here_xxx
I hope I got it right.. If not add me searching Malice Romance.. Gah.. This is really long haha... i dont care.. I'm bored.. I'm supposed to be doing homework.. lol.. My grandma is going to be soooo pissed.. anyone know anything about Hitler.. And the Secret Anex..? i have to write a paper on it.. xD Blah.. and the Abc's of Science.. about what we learned.. but I dont think your intrested in that.. considering you dont know what I've learned about
- Location:My bedroom xD
- Mood:
creative - Music:Love Game
this rant was requested my Jacob/Bloody
He's a good friend.. So I'm going to do it,
Really he just wants to get the point out there..
Famous/popular people
Has anyone else noticed how MOST people who are popular, whether it be on myspace or at school. are stuck up and rude.
Is this because they feel that they rule te world, or because they believe that they feel they are better than everyone else, I'm not sure.. Lets explore about it shall we..
Kay.. So lets use a name... huh...
I will use someone from my school, No last names.. That wouldn't be fair not would it..
Her name is Cori. She is very stuck up and rude. She uses people for her own personal game.
She is a whore.. She just doesn't care if she hurts people.. I will be so dead if she sees this.. Ohh.. fuck it.. I've already started. Whats the point now
you know how most people tell you "Oh.. They have something going on is their life"
or something like
"Just give her a break she's been through a lot."
Sometimes its true.. but other times, Its just a lie they THEMSELVES made up, for more attention. Because they feel they don't have enough already. Most of the Unpopular kids, Want to be a part of the awesome parties, and the what seem awesome friends. So they try and try to become one of them, and once they get in 'if they do' if they want out of the group something bad happens, either they make up stupid fucking rumors to attempt to ruin your reputation, or just do something to you in the locker room, they just want you to feel like Shit so they can feel better, I'm very well-known around my school, because of all the stupid rumors that go around involving me. Stupid things like me having sex and shit like that.. She did this OMG did you hear about that..
Who gives a rats ass.. I'm still a virgin and I'm proud of it, I'm 14 for gods sake.. Get the fuck over it..
I don't get this.. Why do all the Popular Cheerleaders in high school, Brag about how many boys they have slept with, Once again key word here is "W-H-O-R-E"
i really want to be your friend..I want to be just like you, Fucking every guy I see then Screwing them over..
I would never want to be like that.. That's just nasty.. I don't see why anyone would want to be.
i mean seriously
Think about it.
Popular people In Role Play
-myspace-
Some thing here, if you are a well known role player, Or just liked because you have good edits, Than your most likely one of these.
your rude, Always ignore those who actually want to talk or role play. Your judged on your edits, and how you cyber.. Yes, You are one of these role play idiots
huh.. think of an example..
Egypt. that's who I'll use..
Egypt Hacked me in early January 2009
He changed everything to "Hacked my Holocaust"
He a fucking whore.
He calls himself the Role play sex God.
So apparently he's proud of it..
He calls people Sluts and whores when he looks at their profile and sees their Name, And its spelled funny, I guess that's what he uses to judge. He calls me things all the time. I just go off on him...i find it amusing, On a "Hall of Shame" thing I commented We got in a bit of an argument. this is what I said to him
"Wow, getting interesting I see, he needs to learn to use proper grammar and spelling skills, you know, the basic words you learn in elementary school, it would be helpful… I’m I slut that’s funny, I don’t even think I am old enough to be a slut.. I’ve never done anything to be known as that.. So its actually funny. I think he likes to make people feel bad, because it makes him feel better about his sad and pathetic life.. He barely talks, this I know because I have tried, And to me, He seems like an epic fail.. Sure, he has good edits, under that is just a jack ass who wants to be something, You know it kind of makes me think, If he doesn’t show real pictures, and he lied about where he lives, how do you know how old this “kid” really is.. For all we know he could be like an old man, getting all him entertainment on myspace"
He never replied, So I'm guessing I was right about something in there I'm not sure what it is yet. Myspacers, like to get people deleted if one thing goes out of line, of what their expectations are. Its pathetic, Why are people so judge mental I have no fucking idea.. Its entertaining though
He's a good friend.. So I'm going to do it,
Really he just wants to get the point out there..
Famous/popular people
Has anyone else noticed how MOST people who are popular, whether it be on myspace or at school. are stuck up and rude.
Is this because they feel that they rule te world, or because they believe that they feel they are better than everyone else, I'm not sure.. Lets explore about it shall we..
Kay.. So lets use a name... huh...
I will use someone from my school, No last names.. That wouldn't be fair not would it..
Her name is Cori. She is very stuck up and rude. She uses people for her own personal game.
She is a whore.. She just doesn't care if she hurts people.. I will be so dead if she sees this.. Ohh.. fuck it.. I've already started. Whats the point now
you know how most people tell you "Oh.. They have something going on is their life"
or something like
"Just give her a break she's been through a lot."
Sometimes its true.. but other times, Its just a lie they THEMSELVES made up, for more attention. Because they feel they don't have enough already. Most of the Unpopular kids, Want to be a part of the awesome parties, and the what seem awesome friends. So they try and try to become one of them, and once they get in 'if they do' if they want out of the group something bad happens, either they make up stupid fucking rumors to attempt to ruin your reputation, or just do something to you in the locker room, they just want you to feel like Shit so they can feel better, I'm very well-known around my school, because of all the stupid rumors that go around involving me. Stupid things like me having sex and shit like that.. She did this OMG did you hear about that..
Who gives a rats ass.. I'm still a virgin and I'm proud of it, I'm 14 for gods sake.. Get the fuck over it..
I don't get this.. Why do all the Popular Cheerleaders in high school, Brag about how many boys they have slept with, Once again key word here is "W-H-O-R-E"
i really want to be your friend..I want to be just like you, Fucking every guy I see then Screwing them over..
I would never want to be like that.. That's just nasty.. I don't see why anyone would want to be.
i mean seriously
Think about it.
Popular people In Role Play
-myspace-
Some thing here, if you are a well known role player, Or just liked because you have good edits, Than your most likely one of these.
your rude, Always ignore those who actually want to talk or role play. Your judged on your edits, and how you cyber.. Yes, You are one of these role play idiots
huh.. think of an example..
Egypt. that's who I'll use..
Egypt Hacked me in early January 2009
He changed everything to "Hacked my Holocaust"
He a fucking whore.
He calls himself the Role play sex God.
So apparently he's proud of it..
He calls people Sluts and whores when he looks at their profile and sees their Name, And its spelled funny, I guess that's what he uses to judge. He calls me things all the time. I just go off on him...i find it amusing, On a "Hall of Shame" thing I commented We got in a bit of an argument. this is what I said to him
"Wow, getting interesting I see, he needs to learn to use proper grammar and spelling skills, you know, the basic words you learn in elementary school, it would be helpful… I’m I slut that’s funny, I don’t even think I am old enough to be a slut.. I’ve never done anything to be known as that.. So its actually funny. I think he likes to make people feel bad, because it makes him feel better about his sad and pathetic life.. He barely talks, this I know because I have tried, And to me, He seems like an epic fail.. Sure, he has good edits, under that is just a jack ass who wants to be something, You know it kind of makes me think, If he doesn’t show real pictures, and he lied about where he lives, how do you know how old this “kid” really is.. For all we know he could be like an old man, getting all him entertainment on myspace"
He never replied, So I'm guessing I was right about something in there I'm not sure what it is yet. Myspacers, like to get people deleted if one thing goes out of line, of what their expectations are. Its pathetic, Why are people so judge mental I have no fucking idea.. Its entertaining though
- Location:Bedroom
- Mood:energetic
- Music:Youtube
Soo.. I like this website alot.. i think I will get used to it as time goes on..
But as for now, I'm still beginning to adjust.
I just found this place and thought it was a pretty good idea..
So.. Most likely I dont know any of you that are reading this..
I'm pretty much going to have All of my Post's on public, i dont think here is a point to the pivate thing, I have my notebook for that >.<
Here are what I'm going to be posting
just an overview
first things first. I already know that I'm going to post Rants, Just because, I see youtube videos or
just people posting weird things, Or soomthing people ask me to rant about. If there is something you dont like tell me, we can talk about it
Second thing, I will be posting random blogs and things about how my week is going, Or what's happened latly. just because Well.. I can.. And when I get bored, i'm on the computer anyways. So why not..
third.. I may be 14 but i give very good advise. i will be posting those too, i will need people asking me for advise though.. Just ask me some questions, Tell me if you want it Private or if you want it to Be in a post, Thinking other people can benifit from it
mostly updates about shit until I get some friends.. So yep.. Thats it for now abot what i'll post..
There is always rules rightt...
First.. I have a myspace, I'm in school, please dont rush me, I have gotten good at replying to people quickly. but sometimes it just dosnt work that way.. dont trash talk me because I read your thing and didnt reply.. That means I eaither am annoyed with you, Or thinking about what to say..
My myspace shit gets in the way alot. So If it is soemthing you need right away than you need to message/add me on there..
www.myspace.com/xxx_url_goes_here_xxx
I know its stupid. i thought it was cute, and simple.
Second I will try to be nice, If you are being stupid.. I'm very strait forward. I will yell, And most likely it will make you feel bad, But I will tell the truth. Unlike some others who just want to make you feel better, I will help. Sorry If I upset you..
when you send me something please be descriptive about what you want me to give advise/ post a rant about.. because its so much eaiser, I dont want you getting madat me because you wernt descriptive about what you wanted me to write about.
Thankyou for reading this, It means alot.. So yep, I think thats it, if not I will edit this later.. Please spread the word that I'm here, And I'm willing to help.
But as for now, I'm still beginning to adjust.
I just found this place and thought it was a pretty good idea..
So.. Most likely I dont know any of you that are reading this..
I'm pretty much going to have All of my Post's on public, i dont think here is a point to the pivate thing, I have my notebook for that >.<
Here are what I'm going to be posting
just an overview
first things first. I already know that I'm going to post Rants, Just because, I see youtube videos or
just people posting weird things, Or soomthing people ask me to rant about. If there is something you dont like tell me, we can talk about it
Second thing, I will be posting random blogs and things about how my week is going, Or what's happened latly. just because Well.. I can.. And when I get bored, i'm on the computer anyways. So why not..
third.. I may be 14 but i give very good advise. i will be posting those too, i will need people asking me for advise though.. Just ask me some questions, Tell me if you want it Private or if you want it to Be in a post, Thinking other people can benifit from it
mostly updates about shit until I get some friends.. So yep.. Thats it for now abot what i'll post..
There is always rules rightt...
First.. I have a myspace, I'm in school, please dont rush me, I have gotten good at replying to people quickly. but sometimes it just dosnt work that way.. dont trash talk me because I read your thing and didnt reply.. That means I eaither am annoyed with you, Or thinking about what to say..
My myspace shit gets in the way alot. So If it is soemthing you need right away than you need to message/add me on there..
www.myspace.com/xxx_url_goes_here_xxx
I know its stupid. i thought it was cute, and simple.
Second I will try to be nice, If you are being stupid.. I'm very strait forward. I will yell, And most likely it will make you feel bad, But I will tell the truth. Unlike some others who just want to make you feel better, I will help. Sorry If I upset you..
when you send me something please be descriptive about what you want me to give advise/ post a rant about.. because its so much eaiser, I dont want you getting madat me because you wernt descriptive about what you wanted me to write about.
Thankyou for reading this, It means alot.. So yep, I think thats it, if not I will edit this later.. Please spread the word that I'm here, And I'm willing to help.
- Location:Bedroom
- Mood:
busy - Music:Miyavi
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